Ticks, snakes and shooters: ‘oh my!’

crank_0518Brace yourselves, madams and messiers; backyard barbecue and outdoor playtime for the masses commences this weekend. Rain or shine, why not unplug for a couple hours  and enjoy the direct companionship of friends and family–if even only once in a blue moon. I’m learning that even if interact with a family member or an associate whom I don’t care for because they have about the same purpose on earth as a deer tick, I can still gain knowledge from the experience.

Also, before the swamp-like warmth of midsummer is upon us and everyone barricades themselves inside the world of artificial, headache-inducing air conditioning, open a god-damned window or two and get some fresh air blowing through the rooms. Who knows? Your home may even gain fresh perspective!

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Speaking of fresh air, open the fucking front door and go outside! Quit worrying about Lyme disease, snakes, storms, school shooters, bears, perverts and terrorists! For Christ’s sake, we’re more likely to die falling down the basement stairwell or slipping in the bathtub than any of the preceding examples. However, if you’re still not convinced the world is safe anymore, maybe you should stay barricaded safely in the confides of you climate-controlled wi-fi reality junk-food delusion. That means there’ll be more room for outdoor activities for the rest of the adventurous folks who can enjoy the simple pleasures the world still offers.

Enjoy the long weekend!

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